Lessons long forgotten

Becoming a mother is not easy at all. Motherhood as a phase of your life may just happen. But what follows is a life-changing experience. No matter how much you learn from other mothers, you’ll still find yourself unsure, insecure, frustrated,… But with time you start cherishing this new phase of your life. Who takes you across this storm? Your learning? Your family? Your friends? Or is it the tiny unassuming bundle of joy snuggled in your arms?

Your kid may only be a newborn; she may not know to talk; she may need immense care yet she always manages to keep you sane by teaching you life lessons.

1.      Can Will-you-ever-grow-up girls be good mothers?

All your life you are used to being taken care of. Your parents shower you with love. Your teachers guide you. Your siblings protect you. Your friends love you. Your husband supports you. Some women do start taking care of others earlier in their lives. But a true sense of responsibility & complete accountability comes only with motherhood. You are nervous all the time but you’ll also be amazed at how much you’ve matured overnight (almost… J). And if you’re the will-you-ever-grow-up sort, even better. Your kid will have a gala time!

2.      Do you believe in MAGIC?

As every day passes, you’ll feel the stress mounting. Taking care of a newborn can be stressful for first-timers. Staying up all night; running out of ideas on how to console the crying child; remembering vaccinations, feeding times, bathing techniques,… And when she becomes a toddler, you have a new set of things to worry about.

Then there are times when you slip and then you feel miserable. You start thinking that you’re a lousy mom. When your child starts becoming independent you feel insecure, as if somebody is taking away a part of you. If you’re a working mother, you feel endlessly guilty for not being with your loved one 24x7. When she gets attached to the caretaker you feel scared that she might not be as attached to you anymore. Fears, fears, innumerable fears!

But every child reserves a very special place in her heart only for her mother. Do you remember how she smiled at you for the first time? Do you remember how she still clings to you when she’s afraid? Can anyone else console or comfort her when she gets hurt? Doesn’t she demand exclusive attention once you get back home after work? Doesn’t she choose you over everyone else? Doesn’t she get possessive when someone says you’re not hers?

When you notice these easy-to-miss details, a serene smile spreads across your face & then all your fears vanish! That’s the magic of every child. She loves you in her own little ways!

3.      Childhood again?

While we grow up, we so willingly let go of our childishness and with it a lot of innocence. We become so serious that when you see a “childish” adult, all you do is throw an exasperated look. Yet your child effortlessly awakens the child in you. You rediscover that being a child is so much fun!

4.      Pride is a sin? Then give me more!

If you think you know pride, think again. You’ve never known this sort of pride before. When your kid does something that people applaud and talk about, your heart fills up with a feeling so warm that you wonder what it is. Now that’s pride! It’s the same unadulterated pride that your parents felt on your every achievement, big or small.

5.      No Pain. No Gain.

Kids don’t sit around wishing that the thing of their interest will come to them on their own. They, fortunately, don’t know about the larger force that orchestrates everything. They believe in reaching out, crying or even coveting. We try to curb this behavior but we should remember to curb the action not the intention. In fact, this is something we should learn from them. If you want it, go get it.

6.      Who said life is complicated?

Life is not complicated, we make it complicated. Ask your toddler. She’ll immediately agree. There is a simple solution to every so-called complex problem. There is abundant joy in tiny things. You can find boundless peace when you let go. We can brush it off by saying a kid’s life is simple because they have nothing to worry about. Very untrue. They have their share of troubles, worries and fears. Yet they choose to focus on the brighter side of life & have fun (ALL THE TIME).

If not for the tiny tots, we’d be dumb, frustrated souls chasing dreams that’re not worth it! J

Kya dikhta hai, Andhera yaa Roshni?

Jahaan ek taraf hum ek janam ki khushi mana rahe the,

Wahin doosri taraf ek maran ke drishya ne humein hilaa diya.

Kehte hain ki ye janam maran ka chakra chalta hi rehta hai,

Zaroori bhi hai.

Ye to prakriti ka dastoor hai.

Par kya koi insaan akele marta hai?!

Uske saath marta hai…

Kuch rishte, kayi logon ki bhavishya aur anginath jazbaat.

Ise kya kahenge?

Prakriti ka dastoor? Bura waqt? Khota Naseeb?

Zindagi ki raah mein chalte chalte

Jab koi raah khatam ho jaati hai,

To hamare andar bhi kayi cheezein khatam hoti hain.

Hamare sapne, hamari umeed, haamara hausla,…

Ye haalaad aasaan nahi hai, bilkul bhi nahi.

Par hum shok manane mein magn hokar

Ye dekh hi nahi paate ki

Zindaiu ek nayi, haseen raah ki shuruvat mein

apni baahein khole khada hai!

P.S.: This is my first attempt at writing something in Hindi in a long time. I am sure there are a lot of errors. Please forgive me for that.

Heartprints

Idols play a significant role in shaping our lives. We admire them; worship them; aspire to be like them. Idols leave prints on our minds. Can they leave prints on our hearts too? When we think about it, heartprints are forged by people whom we know at a personal level. These are people who accept us just the way we are and love us unconditionally.

If you had to come up with a list of people who have left a forever mark on your soul, you’d be surprised at the outcome. These are people who may not be celebrated giants. Most of them can be handed the just-another-person-in-the-crowd tag. Yet they shape you in the most sublime way possible.

Here’s my list:

Amee Lakhani: She is a mother and a child both at the same time. She’ll care for you like a mother and then the next moment she’ll do something so childish that you can’t help smiling. I am still smiling thinking about all the times we spent together in college.

Ankit Goyal: Another foodie who’s crazy about food! He’s crazy about everything! He’s always full of life. He came into my life as a junior Edison and now is a great friend. If you don’t like Ankit, then something’s seriously wrong with you. He’ll annoy you with his PJs. You’ll give him an exasperated look but then you’ll break into a smile. He’s resourceful, funny and a great organizer.

Deepa Nair: Deepa is a “Comedy Piece”. She’s one person whom everyone loved in college students and professors alike. She used to indulge in all antics that were least expected from a Class Representative. Now you know why we elected her the CR! She was the diametric opposite of shyness so much that we used to treat her like a guy. She will unabashedly laugh in a theatre full of people who would cast irritated glances towards her. She would treat her friends with awful maggi noodles (specially cooked by her). She used to dance in the Ganesh Visarjan procession. She was all this and more. She was the dearest friend anyone can wish for.

Ganesh Rao: He’s speaks whatever is on his mind. Yeah, little rough around the edges but a fantastic person. He gets a kick out of troubleshooting and solving problems. He is labelled as a “Know-it-all”, in a good sense of course, but not many people get close enough to know that he’s equally innocent.

Kausarjahan Mulla: One look at Kausar and you’ll mutter “khadoos” under your breath. I’m not sure how many people have lost out on a great friendship just because they chose to stick to their first perception. She’s a silent, mysterious lady to most and an emotional, fun-loving, wonderful friend to others. You’ve to look carefully to see the real Kausar.

Nedra Michelle Pereira: I always loved friends who used to offer me food. J I know you must be thinking how selfish. Foodies love food more than anything else. ;) Nedra was very sensible, more sensible than most of us. She was independent and smart. She was the first and maybe the only person who complimented my eyes as “Big & Beautiful”.

Preethi Ranganathan-Vishal: I remember Preethi as a warm, bubbly and expressive girl in school. We became friends during the intensive coaching sessions. She was always very insightful. And now she’s a hopeless romantic and an amazing cook. Vishal is truly lucky.

Rakhi R: She is an out and out fun loving person. She is one woman to learn from. She has a calm demeanor and is humble to the core. She is very inspiring.

Rishabh Tulsian: Rishabh is more brilliant than a genius at work and crazier than a child at play. Edison course and Yeti brought us together and we were alike in the sense that we both were silly always. We used to play marker fights during lectures. I used to point him to prospective girlfriends. The girl hunting is still on. That’s proof of Rishabh’s childishness. :D

Shailesh Hinge: He’s the talkative friend who’ll always be there for you in your hour of need. He’s simple, outspoken and honest. He never fails to appreciate not even his rivals. I’ve lost count of the times he’s given me a lift to and from office. A thorough gentleman.

Shalaka Virkar-Vaze: What do I say about Shalaka? She’s all that I’m not. She’s a lioness. She’s khaas, bindaas and jhakaas. She’s a lovely human being and an awesome dancer. She will always stand by you no matter what. We used to giggle at the stupidest of jokes all day. When she cried during her Bidaai, my heart went out to her. But yeah, that’s the only time I’ve seen her cry. Like I said, she’s a lioness.

Sreyas Ramachandran: He’s an unfathomable character. He gets along with friends like a house on fire. For everyone else he’s stranger than a stranger. He has a great sense of humor. He’s bloody brilliant and insanely enigmatic. He’s a Chhupa Rustam for sure.

Susmitha Iyer: The most striking feature of Susmitha’s personality is her cheerfulness. She is extremely friendly (even with juniors whom she barely knows), caring and absolutely adorable. She is so passionate about her work that it rubs off on her team too. I can never forget my first encounter with her. It was my first day at work and she had agreed to drop me home on her way back. On our way back, Mr. & Mrs. Iyer treated me with a big pack of fries as if I was a long lost friend of theirs. I was feeling awkward and bewildered for I had never experienced such warmth before. She is good at a lot of things yet the one trait I would like to imbibe is the easygoing attitude that comes so naturally to her.

Uday Biradar: What do I say about Uday aka the Ugly Duckling. He’s the most humorous, charismatic friend I have ever had. He’s a very busy person at work yet he always manages to make every friend of his feel special. He’ll always plan birthday surprises. He’ll always play pranks on you. He still stays connected to all his friends. When I joined GE, I was in one of the two innovation teams while Uday was in the other. One day I (along with other Tamilians) received an email from him informing me about the filter coffee that he had kept in the cafeteria. Yeah, he is a complete foodie. One day, he narrated to me our first encounter which I have no memory of. But I’m really glad that I met this guy. He changed my life.

Vibhuti Dattani-Kanakia: We both were inseparable in junior college. We were batch mates in school but our friendship really blossomed in college. We were together in every class, every practical session, every lunch, almost everything, almost. The love for food kept us together. We used to walk down to the vada pav tapri near college and relish vada pavs with extra chutney. She used to treat me to homemade samosas and chilly pickles. A true friend.

Vinda Shinde: Vinda is a go-getter. Awesome attitude and a sensitive soul. She’ll unabashedly ask you all sorts of questions and will rightfully give you advice. You always feel a connection with Vinda. Vinda is the most “innocent” person in our group (Why? Because she doesn’t really understand the hidden meaning in most dialogues). J She’s the brave karate kid who just doesn’t look the mother of a kid.

P.S. This list is not exhaustive. I have kept my family out of this list for fear of getting overtly emotional. J

For you, Only you

I was drawn to you,

Like a moth to the light

Away you stand, so far yet so near

Looking as handsome as ever

I feel warmth spreading across my heart

For you, Only you

When our eyes meet, I see

A spark, a longing,…

I trudge along every step closer

With you as my beacon

Feeling nothing but love

For you, Only you

The flicker of hope vanishes in a snap

I am left groping in the dark

Surrounded by an eerie silence…

I didn’t care to watch the path

For I came all the way

For you, Only you

I close my eyes in pain,

Your dazzling smile I see,

The jingle of your laughter I hear,

A brush of your skin I feel,

Reliving these memories, I wait

For you, Only you

A zing spreads across my hand

Bringing to life fresh goose bumps

You take me into your arms

You kiss away the tears

No words can express what I feel

For you, Only you

Purani Yaadein, Nayi Muskaan

It's almost been 4 years since the A-course graduation ceremony. Yet today when I looked at these slides, the grin is back. So many fond memories...

Wanna guess who these were written for?